I've been doing a series on gratitude on Instagram, and this post is part of that series.
Yesterday was the little missy's birthday. I can't believe it's been 4 years already!
I was the kind of person who was, in many ways, obsessed with my job, back when I was working. It gave me a sense of who I was; it had become my identity. When I got pregnant, I knew that I wanted to take a year off to be with my child and my company allowed such an option, so it seemed like a fairly straightforward choice. To take the year off and then return to work. But boy, does parenthood change you!
Just a few days back, I was talking to a few of my former colleagues and they kept saying that they couldn't believe that I, of all people, had quit my job to become a full-time mom. But that was what God had in store for me. And I don't regret it one bit. In many ways, I think God used that whole experience to help me realize that my job wasn't my identity. That I had to find out who I am in Him and find my security in Him. And that's what my parenting journey has been all about. And that's what I'm grateful for today.
I'm grateful that through the ups and downs of being a parent, I'm discovering more of who God is. From the unconditional way in which Liya loves, I see more of God's lavished love. I get a glimpse into God's grace, when I see how easily and willingly she forgives, holding no grudges. From the frustration I feel with her stubbornness, I realize the frustration that God must feel with my stubbornness!
I'm grateful that God loves her far more than I ever could. She belongs to Him first. This is a lesson that we all need to learn as parents but it can be a hard lesson to learn. It's very difficult to surrender control. I have, by no means, mastered it, but I know that I'm only a steward.
I'm grateful that nothing is inconsequential to God. There's nothing that's too small or too dumb to take to Him. Every irrational, tiny doubt or fear, we can take to the Lord and He is able and willing to help us deal with it.
I'm grateful that I never have to do this alone. There are times when the task has felt too daunting and has felt too overwhelming, but I've seen God's faithfulness through those times. I'm grateful for the discernment that He gives when I'm stuck, for the patience He's been *trying* to impart and for the strength He gives that's just enough to get through each day.
If you've watched a baby grow, up close, you get an insight into the mind of the Creator, I feel. You get a tiny glimpse into God's unfathomable wisdom when you see the intricate way in which He has created people. In the past 4 years, I've watched Liya grow from a 2.4kg tiny, helpless newborn who couldn't even hold her own head up to a loving, joyous, brilliant, talkative, curious, observant, one-of-a-kind child. Surely, it was His hand that knit her together while she was still in the womb. And I see, firsthand, His marvelous, complex design. And I'm grateful to God for all of it!